Friday, January 9, 2015

Rekindling New Relationships with Former Lovers, Family & Friends in 2015

Imagine waking up each day thinking about the people you love that are no longer active in your life. You still love them, but through ego or so much time passing by, you think it’s fruitless to reach out to them. There is an old saying that suggests that whatever you resist persists. Meaning, whatever your mind and heart urges you to do will continue until you finally do it. 

Edward Brown of Enchantress Online Dating Institute provides questions and answers about second chances for rebuilding lost relationships.

Q: Why did your institute create a new method for rekindling relationships with old flames, family and friends?

Brown: We conducted a survey at the end of 2014 asking respondents to express a regret that they have and wished could be changed. Although career and spousal choices ranked high, the number one spot belonged to a desire to reunite with old lovers, family and former friends. The loss of a relationship beat out the gain for more money or tangible items as a recurring regret.

Q: Were you surprised by the results of the survey?

Brown: Yes and no. Yes, because I realize that most of us carry around some level of regret based on past experiences. And no, because most people are afraid of rejection. If they reach out to someone and are not received well, they take it personally.

Q: In the past, you have talked about how you got over this fear. How did you do it?

Brown: My grandmother was the central figure in my family. When she died in 2007, the family became more individualized, because there was no more point person. Because my mother cared for my grandmother for many years until my grandmother’s death, it was the first time my mother didn’t have to take care of anyone. So, everyone became “free agents,” and family relationships changed. As a mature adult, I got to see the human side of my mother, which as a dutiful son, you overlook or don’t see, as a child. I didn’t like the human side of my mother and it caused a rift between us. We did not speak to each other for nearly a year. For my own emotional health, I reached out to her to establish a cordial relationship.

Q: Wow! What do you mean by your emotional health?

Brown: While in graduate school in 2010, we would have to do assignments that required us to think about past experiences. My not speaking to my mother would always come to mind, more so, during these assignments. I started thinking, “How would I be able to maintain my sanity, if my mother died while this separation occurred?” I finally reached out to her to reconcile. I can’t say that I did it because I was overly sentimental.  I just could not bear the thought of my inactivity causing self-inflicted, long-term emotional pain.

Q: Is that when you created the Second Chance system?

Brown: No, the system was developed after we received the results of the survey showing the regret respondents had about past breakups and lost friendships. I could emotionally relate to the solution that the system provides based on the experience with my mother. So, the results of the survey made creating the system more personal to me.

Q: If there were one big takeaway from the Second Chances method, what would that be?

Brown: Philosophically, it would be the importance of protecting your emotional health. And from a tactical sense, the importance of writing a persuasive love letter. Comedian Tracy Morgan has talked about the past challenges he had (and reportedly still has) with his mother. He said that if you call and leave a voicemail message, the person could ignore and delete it. If you drop by, the person can merely not open the door. However, if you write and send a letter, it will be read. We come from a culture where if we see something in print, we believe it more. And the curiosity of what’s written in a letter prompts us to read it even if we don’t admit it. 

Your emotional health requires you to act in critical situations.  As long as you do your part, you can cut down on your regrets in life.

One of the things that Second Chances shows you is how to design a compelling love letter. 

Overall, Second Chances is a 5-day free tutorial lesson on how to get loved ones back into your life.

For a free copy now of, “Second Chances: 7 Ways to Get Your Ex-Lover and Friends Back,” click:

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