In early 2014, Nicky T. Bonds released his digital book, “Why My Pussycat Doesn’t Purr: How Love Got Harder, When Sex Got Easier,” published by Core Edge Image & Charisma Institute. Bonds’ book explores the current dating scene and how women can navigate competitive and uncertain waters.
Edward Brown, M.S., dating profile writer for Enchantress Online Dating Institute interviewed Mr. Bonds about his insights about the book.
EB: What inspired you to write, “Why My Pussycat Doesn’t Purr…?”
Bonds: I felt that women were getting advice from other single women and Steve Harvey that wasn’t going to get them the power and influence they were looking for. Effective dating is about leveraging power and sharing your power with the other person after they’ve established a favorable track record. This book provide strategies for women to gain greater influence and power in dating.
EB: What was the biggest challenge your research uncovered in online dating?
Bonds: Generally, women don’t enjoy Internet dating, because it’s contrary to what they have grown accustomed to experiencing. Often, it’s a last resort when it’s difficult to meet men in-person. This is particularly true of women whose children have become grown and find themselves dating again. After eighteen years of being a mother and now an ex-wife, it’s difficult to date in this new social landscape. No one wants to risk getting emotionally hurt. Everyone wants love and companionship and online dating can provide this opportunity. But, Internet dating takes longer to connect emotionally. In-person dating is boy meets girl. Girl likes boy. And they start dating. With online dating, it starts with a fantasy based on the imagery of a dating profile, a reality check during the initial conversation and personalization when the two meet in-person. And finally, a connection if all things line up. Many women aren’t accustomed to a 4-step process for love.
Also, the importance of creating engaging dating profiles that don’t exhibit frustration, disappointment or anger. A pessimistic attitude is not a magnet for attracting men.
EB: What has been the response to your book by women?
Bonds: Overall, it’s been received well. However, a woman criticized the book as being too hardcore. She said that I used the worst examples of women’s dating behaviors to make my point. She said the women sounded like characters from a Tyler Perry movie. Contrarily, another woman said that it helped her transform her thinking about dating men. She said that she got a reality check when she caught her new boyfriend out at a restaurant with another woman. She said she thought her “koochie” was too good for competition (her exact words.)
EB: That’s funny. Generally, are women who have had heartbreaks, gravitating toward your book?
Bonds: Some are motivated by disappointment and pain. But, a large number of women are reading the book because of the name of the title and by word-of-mouth. The title is not only catchy, but is the basis for everything in the book. Once upon a time, men exhibited much more sophistication when dealing with women. And sex came with a lot more responsibility. Human nature hasn’t changed, but sex has become a “free for all,” which has made it more difficult to attain loving relationships.
EB: Do you think we are being saturated with books on relationships?
Bonds: There will always be new books on relationships as long as we have challenges connecting with the opposite sex. The Internet and women becoming educated and financially independent changed relationships. If you change the social dynamics between men and women, you create new challenges. As one philosopher once said, “If there is a problem, there is an opportunity.” Finding love in a changing society creates an opportunity for another book.
EB: What are the 3 takeaways from your book?
Bonds: The 3 takeaways from this book are:
- Be open and available for new information on how to date and become more persuasive in a highly competitive dating environment (Watch shows like “Rules of Engagement” and “Two and a Half Men.”)
- Research suggest that men find a nice smile as the most attractive attribute on a woman. Women should smile more.
- Always be pleasant, even if you’re in a relationship. Women who aren’t playful and nice don’t become friends to a man's mind.
*Bonus: Have fun and let things take its natural course when dating. Meeting new and exciting people should be a mutually enjoyable experience.
To review, Why My Pussycat Doesn’t Purr: How Love Got Harder, When Sex Got Easier, by Nicky T. Bonds, visit: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LA94RA4