Tuesday, December 23, 2014

How to Prepare for Greater Online Dating Success in 2015




Online dating is attracting more and more singles. In fact, 11% of American adults—and 38% of those who are currently “single and looking” for a partner—have used online dating sites or mobile dating apps (Smith and Duggan, 2013).  Both women and men have testified to its success, in terms of finding relationships.  This claim could actually be true, since one-third of married couples in the U.S. met online according to NY Daily News (2013).

Edward Brown, founder and chief dating profile writer for Enchantress Online Dating Institute provides questions and answers for women looking for greater online dating success in 2015.

Q: What do you think 2015 holds for Internet dating?

Brown: It will continue to grow due to the difficulty of meeting people in the traditional way.  When was the last time a friend or relative just dropped by to see you without advanced notice? If you’re like me, no one merely drops by anymore. And if you want to see someone, you have to arrange a meeting and confirm the day before the meeting to ensure nothing has changed.  All these layers of formality operate as barriers to personal connections. If you put the “stranger to stranger” aspect of online dating into the mix, you can see why it’s more difficult to enter viable relationships than ever before.

Q: So, how does the Enchantress Online Dating Institute help this situation?

Brown: If you change the lay of the land, you change how people respond to that land. In other words, people will adapt to a changing environment for mere survival. Quite often, women entering this new social environment as empty nesters, divorcees, widows or busy professionals have diminished dating skills, because they have been out of practice for so long. The dating game changes like all things in society. Enchantress Online Dating Institute acts like a finishing school for women who want to get the knowledge for successful online dating and maneuver around "stranger to stranger" challenges.

Q: Did you say finishing school? Are they still around?

Brown: Many of the old finishing schools have closed, because of the changing roles of women. Traditional finishing schools taught young women proper etiquette as they entered into adulthood. Additionally, finishing schools were training grounds to prepare women to meet and marry men of stature. Today, women are educationally and financially independent, so the need to prepare for men’s approval and acceptance is outdated. However, the level of engagement that finishing schools taught women is still necessary now.  Enchantress Online Dating Institute is a reapplication of the finishing school concept for Today’s women.

Q: So, how does Enchantress….prepare women for online dating?

Brown: The first step is to encourage women to expand their thinking about today’s dating environment. Many women do not like online dating, because they bring the expectations that they learned through 20th century dating.  The changing roles of women and the Internet changed the needs men and women have for each other. We now have “limited” need for each other.  Consequently, men have resigned themselves to expecting sex and limited companionship from women, where women generally want emotional, physical, spiritual and economic stability from men.

Researchers report that the marriage rate has dropped to a new low of 31.1, meaning there are about 31 marriages in the U.S. for every 1,000 unmarried women, researchers found. In 1950, that number was 90.2. In 1920, it was 92.3 (Gannon, 2013).   

What these factors mean to women is that they have to embrace new tools for getting what they want when marriage and relationships have been commoditized. Enchantress…help women present their best selves online as well as learn the rules of engagement on initial dates. Our research shows that many women don’t know how to date and maneuver within this environment. And if they want advice, there is limited practical education they can gain from their friends.

Q: So, what are some recommendations you can offer to women for more enjoyable online dating experiences as we enter 2015?

Brown: First, get educated about the fundamentals of online dating before you join one of the major dating sites or you will become frustrated, disappointed and disenchanted about the process and leave. The reason you even opted to try online dating is that you were not meeting viable prospects in-person. If you are going to win, you have to expand your online dating education. Second, your dating profile should represent your best self. Your image and words have to match the impression you want a man to see in you. If you get this part wrong, you’re going to have negative online dating experiences. Finally, have fun and play the game until a man has established a track record of trust and stability. It is truly a game until emotions are  involved. If you’re going to date, realize that the current social environment has everyone protecting himself or herself against being hurt. Consequently, people  aren’t placing themselves in vulnerable situations until logic and emotions dictate that they should. If you are going to participate in the online dating process, you have to learn the rules of engagement. In addition, if you don’t participate, you lose by not playing. Therefore, you can either play to win or lose by default. In 2015 and beyond, the choice is yours.

For more information on effective strategies for online dating, visit: http://enchantressonlinedatinginstitute.com

_________________________________________________________________________________

Edward Brown, M.S. is a researcher and content marketer who has built an Internet information empire by helping individuals gain power, influence and love on the Internet.

Brown has advanced legal education from the University of Dayton School of Law and a master's degree form Mercer University.

References

Gannon, M. (2013 July 22). U.S. marriage rate drops to new low. Live Science. Retrieved from: http://news.yahoo.com/us-marriage-rate-drops-low-112540999.html

NY Daily News. (2013 June 4). One-third of married couples in U.S. meet online: study. Retrieved from: http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/one-third-u-s-marriages-start-online-dating-study-article-1.1362743

Smith, A. and Duggan, M. (2013 Oct. 21). Online dating & relationships. Pew Research Internet Project. Retrieved from: http://www.pewinternet.org/2013/10/21/online-dating-relationships

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Can We talk About Sex for a Moment?



Renee Hildebrand

With online dating, many women often complain that men only want sex from them. However, according to lifestyle guru Johnny Soporno, there are basically two types of women: The kind of women men want to have sex with and the kind of women men don’t want to have sex with. And trust me; there are women that men don’t want to have sex with. It’s not necessarily true that there is someone for everyone. And if there is, some women’s choices are so limited; it feels like no choice at all. So for the record, the rest of this article is for when you have found a man that you are attracted to, you feel safe with and you have moved to the seduction phase of the relationship. 

Sex is a vital part of any relationship and it can make or break an otherwise wonderful couple. The biggest problem women have when it comes to sex is that they tend to be overly self-conscious. This leads to a lack of focus on what is going on, which leads to frustration and disappointment for both parties.

Not only that, some women also voice their insecurities, which makes it even worse. Ladies, you need to stop focusing on what you think is wrong with you and enjoy the moment. If he’s there with you and he is telling you that you turn him on, please believe him. After all, guys can’t fake it. Seriously, not in this instance. 

If he is in the bedroom with you, then he is already turned on by who you are right now. Pointing out your cellulite or trying to hide a part of your body for fear you might look fat or wobbly is like shining a spotlight on it for him to see, where he probably would never have noticed otherwise. Men just don’t see those things we think of as imperfections until you point them out.
Another problem many couples run into is that sex becomes routine and slowly dries up and disappears completely. Society is as much to blame for this as we are. We forget that sex is supposed to be fun as well as a great way to bond with your partner. 

In a relationship seminar conducted by a famous inspirational speaker, he told the story of a couple who were in their nineties and had been together for more than sixty years. However, they were still deeply in love with each other and it showed because they expressed themselves physically as well. So much so that the speaker suggested they might want to retire to their room. When asked what their secret was, the couple responded that, amongst other things, they would try anything once. If they liked it, they would do it again.

In other words, variety is the spice of life and sex is nothing to be ashamed of. The more variety you have in your sex life, the less likely it is that it will become boring and a matter of obligation rather than enjoyment. 

There are so many things you can do to keep your sex life interesting, from surprising your man with an impromptu romp to role-playing for him. You can be sure that he will definitely want to play along. Remember that it does not always have to be a Hollywood production of the perfect romantic evening. Sometimes a hot, sweaty, fast roll in the hay is exactly what the doctor ordered. You’ll also find that it is a great way to relieve tension as well. So go ahead. Live a little. Start enjoying more of the best part of life now.

For more information on spicing up your online dating life, visit: http://enchantressonlinedatinginstitute.com

Monday, December 15, 2014

Why My Pussycat Doesn’t Purr: How Love Got Harder, When Sex Got Easier


In early 2014, Nicky T. Bonds released his digital book, “Why My Pussycat Doesn’t Purr: How Love Got Harder, When Sex Got Easier,” published by Core Edge Image & Charisma Institute. Bonds’ book explores the current dating scene and how women can navigate competitive and uncertain waters.

Edward Brown, M.S., dating profile writer for Enchantress Online Dating Institute interviewed Mr. Bonds about his insights about the book.

EB: What inspired you to write, “Why My Pussycat Doesn’t Purr…?”

Bonds: I felt that women were getting advice from other single women and Steve Harvey that wasn’t going to get them the power and influence they were looking for.  Effective dating is about leveraging power and sharing your power with the other person after they’ve established a favorable track record. This book provide strategies for women to gain greater influence and power in dating.

EB: What was the biggest challenge your research uncovered in online dating?

Bonds: Generally, women don’t enjoy Internet dating, because it’s contrary to what they have grown accustomed to experiencing. Often, it’s a last resort when it’s difficult to meet men in-person.  This is particularly true of women whose children have become grown and find themselves dating again. After eighteen years of being a mother and now an ex-wife, it’s difficult to date in this new social landscape. No one wants to risk getting emotionally hurt. Everyone wants love and companionship and online dating can provide this opportunity. But, Internet dating  takes longer to connect emotionally. In-person dating is boy meets girl. Girl likes boy. And they start dating. With online dating, it starts with a fantasy based on the imagery of a dating profile, a reality check during the initial conversation and personalization when the two meet in-person. And finally, a connection if all things line up. Many women aren’t accustomed to a 4-step process for love. 

Also, the importance of creating engaging dating profiles that don’t exhibit frustration, disappointment or anger. A pessimistic attitude is not a magnet for attracting men.

EB: What has been the response to your book by women?

Bonds: Overall, it’s been received well. However, a woman criticized the book as being too hardcore. She said that I used the worst examples of women’s dating behaviors to make my point. She said the women sounded like characters from a Tyler Perry movie. Contrarily, another woman said that it helped her transform her thinking about dating men. She said that she got a reality check when she caught her new boyfriend out at a restaurant with another woman. She said she thought her “koochie” was too good for competition (her exact words.)

EB: That’s funny. Generally, are women who have had heartbreaks, gravitating toward your book?

Bonds: Some are motivated by disappointment and pain. But, a large number of women are reading the book because of the name of the title and by word-of-mouth.  The title is not only catchy, but is the basis for everything in the book. Once upon a time, men exhibited much more sophistication when dealing with women. And sex came with a lot more responsibility. Human nature hasn’t changed, but sex has become a “free for all,” which has made it more difficult to attain loving relationships.

EB: Do you think we are being saturated with books on relationships?

Bonds: There will always be new books on relationships as long as we have challenges connecting with the opposite sex.  The Internet and women becoming educated and financially independent changed relationships.  If you change the social dynamics between men and women, you create new challenges.  As one philosopher once said, “If there is a problem, there is an opportunity.” Finding love in a changing society creates an opportunity for another book.

EB:  What are the 3 takeaways from your book?

Bonds: The 3 takeaways from this book are:
  • Be open and available for new information on how to date and become more persuasive in a highly competitive dating environment (Watch shows like “Rules of Engagement” and “Two and a Half Men.”)
  • Research suggest that men find a nice smile as the most attractive attribute on a woman. Women should smile more.
  • Always be pleasant, even if you’re in a relationship. Women who aren’t playful and nice don’t become friends to a man's mind.

*Bonus: Have fun and let things take its natural course when dating. Meeting new and exciting people should be a mutually enjoyable experience. 

To review, Why My Pussycat Doesn’t Purr: How Love Got Harder, When Sex Got Easier, by Nicky T. Bonds, visit: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LA94RA4

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Reflecting Your Best to Visual Creatures






Ronald Williams

While this might be considered a little shallow, unfortunately, there is nothing we can do about the fact that men are visual creatures. This doesn’t mean that you have to stop by the plastic surgeon in the morning to remodel yourself into a Victoria’s Secret runway model. Far from it.

However, there are certain things that make women much more attractive to men. For example, men absolutely adore natural beauty. And natural beauty is a relative term. In this context, natural is defined as consistent beauty. The beauty that you exhibit in a tee shirt and jeans should not be a total stretch from your "dressed up" look, but a mere extension. Even if you adorn wigs and weaves, they should compliment your beauty, not hide or masquerade it. This is especially important in online dating. Don't take professional or Glamour Shots for your dating profile.  Not only does it appear unnatural, it demonstrates that you are trying too hard to be attractive. Use a digital camera (never a "selfie"). Digital camera's are practical and reflect a natural, comfortable look. 

Also, in your dating profile, wear form flattering clothes, but nothing overly sexual. If men are visual creatures, too many visuals spoil the prize. And remember, you are exhibiting your prized possession- yourself. Also, if you adopt a more feminine style by wearing skirts and dresses, men will find you more attractive. This is simply because women tend to appear softer and more feminine in dresses. And femininity is the key to attracting masculinity. 

Finally, in your dating profile pictures, strike poses that reflect positively on your personality. "Twerking" or overly accentuating your butt suggests that you are looking to "sexualize" any romantic connection. And this is fine, if that's your intention. But, if you want your emotional needs met, in addition to your physical needs, take pictures that suggest that you would never compromise yourself.  Remember, if you act like a sex kitten, you will be treated as one. So take the high road by leaving something to the imagination.

For more information on enhancing your dating attractiveness, visit: http://enchantressonlinedatinginstitute.com

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Men Don’t Want to Compete With Their Women



Amanda Frazier

Men really don’t want to compete with their women. They don’t marry for competition because they get enough of that in other areas of their lives, from work to friends. What they want is someone they can confide in, have fun with and receive a high degree of loyalty.

Men want peace and to please their wife or girlfriend, which is why men avoid conflict in their relationships as best they can. Conflict, for a man, equates to a competition and men are hardwired to do everything they can to win competitions. Since most men don’t want to win over their mate, they will end up withdrawing.

Therefore, if you take a different approach and simply refuse to argue and, instead, use your feelings to disarm him, you will find that you are actually the one in control. Think about when you were a little girl and you wanted to get something from your Dad, what did you do? You used your feelings by making him feel like the best father in the world, which had him wrapped around your little finger. It was all to make his little girl happy and put a smile on your face, because it made him feel good.

The same holds true in relationships and if you can relearn the art of using your feelings, you will find that your man is much more responsive to you. He will want to do things to please and make you happy. There is nothing more important to a man than the knowledge that he can please his woman. 

For information on becoming more engaging and magnetic in dating, visit: http://enchantressonlinedatinginstitute.com

Monday, December 8, 2014

Men Want to Feel Needed





Angela R. Robinson 

Because of the way our society is structured today, many women are embarrassed to admit, even to themselves, that they want to feel cherished and that they need a man. It’s almost a sacrilege to admit it, even though they feel empty without a partner. 

You will find that there are many women, and you may be one of them, who have a great career and date all the time, but cannot maintain a relationship. And they have no idea why. It is exactly because of the fact that they have convinced themselves that they don’t need a man and that is exactly how them come across.

Unfortunately, if a man doesn’t feel that a woman needs him, he will think there is nothing he can do for her that she can't do for herself. He won’t be able to play the knight in shining armor and there is nothing that will get a man to run away faster then the feeling that he isn’t needed. 

While independence is a great thing in some areas of your life, it is usually the biggest killer of intimacy. After all, would you want to be with someone who says they don’t need you? No one is saying you need to use him as an emotional crutch or relinquish all control to him, but you do need to understand that the idea of equality is highly overrated in relationships.

In fact, if you were both on equal footing, you would be just like one of his friends. And very few women want to be treated like one of the guys. After all, guys never open up to each other and are constantly competing on some level. They certainly don’t hug and kiss each other romantically. Is that what you want? To be one of the boys?

For more information on nurturing relationships, visit: http://enchantressonlinedatinginstitute.com