Febury Hassan is a relationship and personal development expert with 12 years of professional coaching and motivational speaking experience. She has spoken at United Way, Norfolk Southern and Wells Fargo about women empowering themselves. She is the founder of Related Bliss a personal development company founded in the belief...That every relationship we are having is a reflection of the relationship we are having with ourselves. In today’s questions and answers (Q&A), Febury discusses how women can use their feminine energy to attract their ideal mate.
Q: You have been labeled a relationship guru. What is your background and experience in this area?
Febury: I wouldn't call myself a "guru"...(LOL). However, I would say that I have a unique and interesting take on intimate relationships in today’s environment. I believe that every relationship we are having is a reflection of the relationship we are having with ourselves. And what’s going on inside of us is an excellent barometer to our current thinking.
For the record, I am a graduate of Landmark Education and studied psychology at Georgia State University. Also, I am an author and workshop facilitator as well as an avid reader of all things relationship and human experience oriented.
Q: When and how did you determine that black women exhibiting masculine energy had an affect on black male-female relationships?
Febury: I began noticing this phenomenon about 10-15 years ago within male-female conversations and interactions. I observed a lot of negativity and competition between the sexes, which interested me to research and discover the root causes of this behavior. I found that the negative energy women were carrying prevented them from connecting and having loving relationships with men. Many women don't realize that their strength lies in assuming more femininity, not adopting masculine energy. What may work in the boardroom may not be as effective in the living room.
Q: How have women responded to your concept and analysis?
Febury: Both women and men respond very well. As a student of the feminine energy concept myself, I present all of my information in a very open and non-threatening manner. One aspect of feminine energy is compassion and understanding. Feminine energy creates a space that is safe for healing and learning to occur. For me, understanding the power of feminine energy means I know how to create a safe place. I encourage women to create this space when dealing with men as a means of, not only relaxing the man, but allowing them to realize all of their womanliness. When they’ve had to survive on their own, they may have adopted excessive masculine energy along the way.
Q: What signs or evidence have you seen that suggest that black women are open and available to your recommendations?
Febury: Well, what has been redemptive for many women is the ability to become aware, address challenges head on and release masculine energy within my workshops. Sometimes, we are too close to a situation to see other options. In these forums, women aren’t being judged. They are allowed to vent their frustrations and adopt the tools we discuss to be able to enjoy more fulfilling relationships with men. More importantly, I know women are open because they are asking for a change.
Q: What can black men do to assist in the transformational process, since a case can be made that they may have some culpability?
Febury: We are two sides of the same coin: two peas in a pod. Black men must be aware that as we are willing to accept our role as women, they too must accept theirs as men. That means being present to our change and transformation. For women, learning to live more in the feminine space means being open to vulnerability, which can be a very scary place to be. It will be his responsibility to make her feel safe. Love and security are synonymous for a woman. Too whom much is given, much is required. If black men desire softer, more receptive women, they have to create a space that is safe for women to be women. Many women have not taken on more masculine energy, because they WANTED it. Many of them felt they had no other choice. Women will gladly lay their masculine burdens down when they no longer feel alone in having to do everything themselves.
Q: Do you have any final thoughts?
Febury: I love this work. I use the word “work” loosely. I love women and know that when women are happy the world around them is happy. This is just a step. A step to get us a bit more balanced. We truly do desire healthy and happy relationships. And I feel I have one avenue to help us get there.
For more information on Febury’s upcoming workshops, visit Feburyhassan.com