Monday, November 10, 2014

Online Dating Secrets

 Edward Brown, M.S.

Online dating sites often boast about their success in connecting people and helping them build relationships. This claim could actually be true, since one-third of married couples in the U.S. met online according to NY Daily News (2013). However, not everyone is successful in online dating. Some users still do not solicit any kind of response. What are the secrets of these 1 out of 3 happy couples?

There are different tips on how you can make yourself noticeable in online dating sites. The most important is the opening line or headline.  Whenever people are searching for matches and your profile is a suitable match, the first thing they notice is the picture and the headline.  This is their first impression, and you want to give them a headline that piques their interest.

Proper dating profile writing would even boost the number of people checking your profile. Your dating profile should be written creatively without fabricating any kind of information. For example, if you are an outdoorsy person, you do not say that straightaway; you let them know how great you are in the outdoors. Tell something about the most memorable outdoor event you have experienced. People like stories of adventures.

Avoid negativity when writing your profile. Exhibit confidence, but don’t sound too overconfident or perfect.  Crazy as it sounds; nobody wants to connect with somebody who is too perfect.  Some would say that this is a sign of fraud, while others say that they are too shy to contact “perfect” people. 

Your dating profile should express your characteristics and the kind of relationship you are after.  Indicate good characteristics, but also show that you have quirkiness in your personality, too. Don’t try to be somebody you are not. To encourage them to reply or respond, invite them to send you a message or chat with you in your profile. This is your call to action suggesting what you want the other person to do.  

Building relationships does not solely rely on how your dating profile is written. Whenever you receive an email from a person that does not attract you (based on the photo), still read the person’s profile. If you decide to let them down gently, you can select an item within their profile to compliment them on, while telling them that you are pursuing other interests. Of course, you don’t have to respond to everyone. Some people exhibit more courage online and are more relentless than they might be in person. The takeaway is that being uninterested does not give you any excuse to be hurtful and insensitive to other people’s feelings. But, you don’t have to kowtow to anyone either. The online forum is impersonal until two people move into a more personal zone. All parties should be aware of this fact and act accordingly.

If you have sent a message and the person does not reply, be patient. It is possible that he has received many messages and it's taking him a while to answer them all. Actually, you could send messages to several people at once. Normally, you would be able to get one reply out of five messages sent. Since these men don’t know you, do not take any non-responsiveness personally.

When communicating, avoid talking about personal things like health problems, family issues and financial problems.  After all, at this point of communication, it’s no one’s business. As the relationship progresses, it is your choice to open up without giving away too much personal identification or information. 

If you have met the person online that you think is suitable for you, then you should start meeting in person. The biggest problem of some online dating users is that they think that online dating means online/ virtual dating. Some members would often say that their online relationship is good; meeting face to face would only spoil things. That is not true. Remember your objective is to build a relationship.  You can never reach that and become successful if you’re always stuck on the idea that everything is virtual/ make-believe. Because connections are made online does not make them less real. Just ask the 1 in 3 people every year who get married from online dating. 

For more information on creating magnetic dating profiles, visit:


NY Daily News. (2013 June 4). One-third of married couples in U.S. meet online: study. Retrieved from:

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